


Stranded with Idiots

by Ki_Ki_Chi



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Crack, Crazy, Emotional Manipulation, Everybody Lives, F/F, F/M, Fire, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Multi, Prank Wars, Reality TV, Romance, Stranded, War Era, Wutai, Wutai War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8980534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_Ki_Chi/pseuds/Ki_Ki_Chi
Summary: Cloud, Reno and the whole cadet team play a huge prank on there Surpior Officers. Of course looking for revenge they decide to strand them out of the middle of no where on live tv, now people will react and watch how well these boys can handle this situation. Crack and funny things will happend, almost dying, guns and cadets don't mix well, and bad boys are the new craze!





	1. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: Stranded 

 

Cloud was with his best friend Reno who was in the library talking about classes, till they heard a voice on the interncom "All cadets to the main hall immediately!" They both ran down there to get some good seats and sat in the front.

The room flooded with all the cadets in Shinra, everyone quited down when there combat teacher Mr. Rimmers came to the stage " Cadets, since everyone has been getting good test scores on there test, we decided that you all deserve a vacation!" All the Cadets cheered.

Cloud and Reno were cheering too "I'm so happy and excited!!" Cloud yelled out happy "Me too!!" Reno shouted. "Well be leaving tomorrow! So go to your barracks and get your things!" Everyone quickly got up and ran out the doors not realizing the evil smirk on Mr. Rimmers face.

 

The Next Day:

 

Everyone was on a bus chatting about the vacation and how awsome it will be, the bus driver began to move. They were a deep forest and kept going and going, the cadets notice and start to question "Where are we going?" Was the main question, suddenly the bus flipped over and all the cadets started screaming. The car rolled down a hill and stopped all the cadets got up and say there bud driver dead, they all scream befor getting there things and tuning out.

As they ran out screaming a camera was catching it all, back at Midgar everyone had there tvs on watch the new show "Stranded" the show was getting more interesting and funny every passing minute.

Back with the Cadets:

 

Cloud and Reno sat under a tree as they watch the other cadets panic, Cloud got up befor shouting out "HEY!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Everyone did "Ok! Can we all stop panicking and try to figure out where the hell are we!?" Someone raised there hands up "yes?" "Um, we're in Wutai" "Wutai!? Wa-" "Look at the sign" 

Everyone looked at the sign and it read "Welcome to Wutai!!!" Everyone froze "O shit....." Reno said with no emotion.

 

In Shinra:

General Sephiroth was walking around the building looking for his young lover Cloud, hid other lovers were abit worried since he hadn't come back to there place yesterday, as he kept looking he felt his Phs ring. He picked it to hear Angeal worried voice "Sephiroth come to the main lounge room quickly, it's about cloud!" Sephiroth ran as fast as he could to get his destination, when he got there he saw everyone crowding the tv, he had to push through to get in the front. When he did he saw Cloud and the other cadets running out of a broken bus screaming .

He stopped and looked at the screen in horror, who the hell thought it was a good idea to leave fully untrained cadets on there own!? Mr. Rimmers came up to him with a smirk "You know about the prank that happened last year right?" "Yes.....why?" "Welp....this I pay back!" Everyone in the room stopped and looked at shock, Zack walked up to him angry " You left all the cadets Shinra has stranded on Wutai!?" "Well I didn't the bus will go that far, but yeah!"

Everyone had to restrain the 4 solders from ripping out Mr. Rimmers head, The door opened to show the Turks and Rufus Shinra storming in. Rufus went up to Mr. Rimmers befor punching him in the face, he looked pissed with Tseng by his side too. "Out of all the cadets you choose to strand on Wutai you choose Reno!?" Everybody flinched at Rufus voice, they all knew that messing with Reno was a huge no no, along with Cloud.

Those two were dating Shinra strongest high class men, Reno was dating Rufus and Tseng and Cloud was dating Sephiroth, Angeal, Zack, and Genesis. Messing with those two was gonna get you dead, Mr. Rimmers was gonna learn the hard way about messing around with someone's lover.

 

One of the soldiers shouted out "Hey be quiet and look!" Everyone stopped and looked at the screen

 

With the cadets:

Everyone were walking in the dense forest, they found a small meadow "Ok, we're gonna need food, water, shelter. Get to it!!!" Everyone began to in diffrent ways.

Cloud, Reno, Jake:

 

All three boys were collecting food, they then heard a snap and loo k ed behind them and saw a huge black bear. They all stopped "Oh my fucking God..." Reno Wispered yelled, Jake then looked back at the boys "Um.." "Jake Jake Jake!" Cloud then gave him a huge rock "I give you the power of Gea, now go show your worth!!" Jake nodded befor running to the bear screaming and throwing the rock at it, it didn't work. The bear let out a loud roar, all three boys were running away screaming.

 

Back with the audience:

 

Everyone were laughing at how dumb the decision was, while there boy friends were face palming.

 

Yep this was gonna be one hell of a show.....


	2. A boy named Shrek

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Chapter 2: A boy named Shrek

Deep in the Wutai forest:

Cloud and Reno were around the big fire outside there camping site, Cloud heard running and looked back to see another cadet running around one of the camps screaming "Emotep! Emotep!" Cloud then burst out laughing "What! What the fuck!?" 

Reno just stood there looking confused, he didn't understand the whole situation for some reason.

 

Sun Set:

Both Cadets learn the boys name was Shrek, he was really funny and loved Shrek jokes. They all stood around the fire "Alright, tonight is the night where we pray to our Lord and Savior Emotep...um Reno can you start?" "Ah yes um, I thank Lord Emotep for protecting us and giving us the power to stay strong"

Reno bowed his head and then looked at Shrek "Um Shrek, do you have anything you want to say?" Shrek nodded his head and then took out a recorder, it then began to play "All Star" by SmashMouth. Both Cadets had to hold back there laughter, Reno then regain himself "O-Ok Shrek that's enough!" 

All boys started laughing

 

Back at Shinra:

 

Everyone was pretty much laughing and having hard time breathing, the fact the boys not only worship a made up God but made old joke that nobody has used in years.

Rufus stared at Reno 'Well...as long as he's safe and having a good time, then I can't worry too much'

 

Back at the forest:

Reno, Cloud, and Shrek went to there campsite when it got dark. All three were relaxing and feeling the cool breeze from outside, but that's when they heard a loud voice " Hey Cloudy!!" All three boys stopped and looked at each other "Oh my god....someones out there!" They all grabbed there guns and began to run into the night.

They saw a guy who was shirtless "Cloudy! It's me-" Cloud scared out of his mind screamed "Shoot him! Make sure he's dead!!" All three cadets started shooting at him, but he was too fast and started running "No no mother fucker! I subscribed to your channel and you can't do that-!" 

The man got hit by Reno and layed there dead, Cloud sighed in relief "Search him!" They did but Shrek looked into the night and saw a guy with a huge gun and a black mask slowly heading towards them.

"Um guys! There some dude with a gun and black mask heading towards us!" Reno and Cloud looked up scared and ran "Oh my god! Guys I don't think we're gonna make it!!"

All three cadets ran to there camp site, locking the door and running upstairs.

 

Back at Shinra:

 

Everyone were fearing for the poor Cadets, they've seen people with black mask on. They were highly trained shooters and never missed there opponents, they looked back at Rufus. He looked pissed with his boyfriend Tseng. They also looked over at the Zack, Angeal, genesis, and Sephiroth who were too seething with anger and worry.

 

Back in the Wutai forest:

All three Cadets were all huddle up togather shaking with fear, they all jumped when the sound of the door being kicked opened rang out. They all looked at each other "Ok, when he comes up here we shoot him with all are might" "but he's more trained then us, he's gonna doge those bullets...I know it..." Reno and Cloud were going back and forth each other.

Shrek the shushed them both up when he heard footsteps down stairs, Cloud got up and peeked out the top floor he saw the man. He almost let out a squel, he then frozed when the man spotted him. The man pointed his gun at Cloud's way and fired, Cloud flew back and ran to side when the bullets shot through.

Reno shrieked while Shrek who was unlucky got shot in the shoulder by one of the bullets, he screamed in pain "Shrek!!" Reno ran to him and picked him up, Cloud got two guns and looked to Reno "Go to the Door!" They both jumped out with a injured Shrek wit them.

But the jump was high, when Cloud landed he screamed in pain. His ankle broke, he was limping. Reno looked behind them and saw the guy running to them "Cloud!!" Cloud looked back and saw him too.

He held up his two guns and started shooting, luckily one of the bullets hit the man in the chest. The man felled down, Cloud yelling in joy limped his way to Reno "Come on, let's get back to camp and treat Shrek" "Y-Yea..."

The two shaken up Cadets carried there injured friend the medical bey.

Back at Shinra

Everyone sighed with relief, they all were jumping in fear thinking the Cadets were gonna actually die. Seeing Shrek get hit by the bullet made all of them wince, if Cloud wasn't fast enough then all of them would of gotten shot and killed.

Zack was almost pushed into tears, seeing Cloud hurt like that made his blood boil. Cloud was just a cadet, he could barely take down the guy. He sighed and hoped that Cloud and the others wouldn't die.


	3. Shark Man!?

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Chapter 3: Shark Man!?

 

Cloud watched as Reno patched up Shrek who was unconscious, he sighed and thought back to the attack. He really wanted to survive, and the fact that Wutai was currently in war with Shinra.

"Hey Cloud, when are the others getting back?" Reno asked worried 

"I don't know, until then we have to stay close, we might get attacked again..."

They both sat in silence in hopes that the crazy mess they were about to face was over, then suddenly they heard yelling outside and looked out "Shark Man!?" They both yelled.

They ran out and went the boy with Blue hair that was shaped like a shark "Shark Man!? What are you doing here!? You better be glad we knew you or I would of shot you!" Cloud yelled angrily.

Reno nodded in agreement 

"What happend, I heard gunshots and screams and I came here as fast I could!" 

"We got Attacked by some black ops, there's more out there too!" Reno said worried

Cloud shook his head and sighed, this was gonna be a long night....

 

Morning:

 

Cloud woke up to Shrek shaking him "What? Your supposed to be in bed!" Cloud said

"I know, but there's a meeting" Cloud got up and followed Shrek into and big hut where all the Cadets were in, he sai next to Reno.

"Fellow Cadets, we have been attacked last night! Black Ops are in this area waiting to shoot us!" Yelled a boy named John.

Everyone gasped at this and started Wispering "As ypu can see, we can't stay in one place now! We must move into more......human populated places!" 

Cloud thought for a second 'Well we are at the border of Wutai, and the capital Shanghai is far away yet at the same time a safe place we can stay at!......but we will have to encounter Black ops and more gunmans.....'

Cloud thought long and hard about this, was he really risking the death of millions just to go to a place high classed and far away? Cloud shook his head and got up.

"We can go to Shanghai, bit the trip will be long and dangerous!" Everyone gasped at him "Well Cloud tell us, how will we survive this trip?"

Cloud paused befor speaking again "We gotta learn how to kill" then all hell broke loose "KILL!?!?!?!?"

 

Shinra:

 

Sephiroth shook his head, he knew they wouldn't take the whole 'Killing to survive thing' Well. 

Zack was worried, when he was a Cadet he didn't like the idea of killing either. He didn't want Cloud to force himself and others to kill, this was a very hard choice.

 

Wutai Forest:

Cloud was sitting in the watch tower, he looked over the camp and checked for any Black Ops.

He sighed when one of the Cadets accidentally shot an arrow near another perosn, he was gonna have a field day with this.

He looked back at the forest and saw something moved, he looked closer to see a person wearing a black mask "SHIT! BLACK OPS!" He ran the bell loud enough for everyone the see "GET YOUR GUNS! BLACK OPS ARE ON THERE WAY!!!" Everyone panicked and started screaming and running.

Cloud got out his gun and started to point it at the he crowd of Black ops, he then screamed "WHAT EVER YOU DO! DON'T MOVE OR SHOOT!" They stopped befor holding there hands up.

Cloud put his gun down and jumped down the watch tower, who walked to them and stared at them "Who are you?" They said nothing

Cloud already pissed and got out his gun befor pointing it at the leader " Answer me!" No one moved.

"Ok that's it!! CADETS GUN THEM!!" ALL the Cadets started shooting and the crew, screams and war cries was all Cloud heard he then holded up his hand "Stop! Hold your fire!" 

The Cadets stop to see to there horror, blood. There layed a dead bodies of the people they killed, Reno started crying and shaking.

Cloud stared at the bodies with horror and tears in his eyes 'W-Why did I do that!? T-they were just...' He felt him self shake, he felt so much stress and anxiety. He fainted.

"Cloud!!!" 

 

At Shinra:

 

Everyone stood in shock at the screen, Zack almost jumped when Cloud fainted "What's wrong with him!?" 

"He has PTSD, I'm surprised he was holding it all in" Angeal said sadly 

Zack shook his head "H-He's to young to have it now!" 

"I'm sorry Zack, but Cloud won't be the same after this"

 

Wutai Forest:

 

Cloud woke up with a start, he looked up see Reno sleeping on a desk. He sat up and looked out from the window, it was noon.

He heard the door open and looked to see Shrek "Shrek....."

"Cloud......"

They both stayed in silence "Look, what happend there was really messed up" Cloud said

"I know and it's not your fault, we had and other meeting today" "You did?" "Yeah....John and the others made and other agreement that you.....would be the leader of this tribe....."

Cloud sat in shock "W-What?....." "You heard me, your the leader"

Cloud didn't know if he should feel happy or confused, he got up and smiled "Gather up the Cadets! I'm making th announcement!" Shrek smiled and left

 

A few hours the cadets were all outside looking at Cloud "From this day Forward, I'm this he leader! Shall death do us part! I will protect you and lead this he to safty!" 

He took of he's hat to reveal his face smiling face, everyone cheered happily. Cloud knew that a bright future was ahead of them

 

At Shinra:

 

Everyone was cheering happily, Cloud got the role he deserved.

Cloud 4 boyfriends were proud of him, they knew would make a good leader, even if he was young.....


	4. Road to Beijing!

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Chapter 4: Road to Beijing!

 

Cloud was tired of it all, after decided to leave there small hut and hit the road to Beijing. He didn't realize that the forest was long and deep

Cloud was trying his best not to yell out, he told his tribe to lay low so he could look over the hill. To his surprise there was a small town in the middle, he almost shouted in surprise "Guys there's a town down there!" Everyone was overjoyed

 

A few hours:

 

Cloud took it back the town was abandoned and filled with Gunmans and Black ops, 'I killed them befor and I will do it again' he thought.

His tribe went there own way leaving him, Reno and Shrek alone "Why don't we explore abit and find some food and water?" Reno asked.

 

Cloud nodded and sighed 'This is gonna be a long day'

After some hours Cloud and Reno were driving a small jeep the've found, Shrek stayed back with the others. Reno being a good driver drive them both easily to a small house in the outskirts of town

Cloud went into a small bathroom sighing, Reno behind him closed the door "Ok....I need to know what your plans are" "Look Beijing far away, I fear we might lose some members Beacuse of out reckless acts"

Reno sighed and shook his head "Cloud all those gun training knife and sword holding is not gonna go unoticed by them...trust me have some fun ok?" Cloud looked and Reno and smiled abit "Your very supportive you know that right?"

Suddenly both heard gunshots and stopped, Cloud brought his gun and Reno went behind him. Silence came for awhile till an explosion rang out the air "Shit they got explosives!" Cloud shouted out.

"If I'm correct Black ops don't carry explosives....I think the Special A team does...." Cloud felt his breath hitch "Special A team!? Reno there as strong as 2nd class solders!" Reno shook his head "Be careful with them Cloud!" 

Cloud nods and brings out a grenade "Wait what- Cloud-!" "BEAT FIRE WITH FIRE!" He ran out the bathroom and pulled out the trigger and threw the grenade out the window. Suddenly explosions were heard.

Reno ran out looking angry "Please for the love of Geaia don't let this be a Bomb war!"

 

At Shinra

 

Everyone crowded the TV scared, Wutai Special A team didn't play around. A bomb war was not something a Cadet team could survive.

 

In the town

 

Shrek and the other Cadets came in time befor Reno and Cloud got blown up, "CADETS! READY SET....FIRE!"The Cadets started shooting the attackers in blind rage.

Cloud and Reno quickly got up and went to the father side of the woods "We're leaving once we get the things we need!" "Agreed"

 

A few hours later:

 

After a long battle the Shinra team won and left after grabbing the things they needed, there were now on the road again tired, Cloud didn't want to wait, they had to get there soon and fast.


End file.
